Guess who's growing up?

I went to my parents' house tonight to pick up the pups and my dad says, "Um, I think Piko is menstruating."

"What?"

"I found a couple of drops of blood on the couch cover. I thought that the girls were playing too rough and got cut but they were both fine."

My dad leads me to the couch and shows me the two drops. Then he looks at me and says,

"I think she's becoming a little lady."

Sunuva biscuit! I just scheduled an appointment for them for this Monday for a pre-spay consultation. I called the vet on the way home and asked what I should do.

"Hi, this is Lulu. My pups, Piko and Pili, have an appointment this Monday to make sure they are ready to get fixed. Well, I think Piko got her period so should we still have the appointment on Monday?"

"Yes, then we schedule Piko to get fixed in about six weeks."

"Six weeks? Why so long?"

"She'll have her period for about four weeks and then we need to wait a couple more weeks for the swelling to go down."

"FOUR WEEKS?! Piko will have her period for four weeks?!" (And, evidently, her vagina is swollen.)

OK, so sue me. One of the few things I evidently skipped over in the doggy book. So now I have a menstruating pup. With my beige couch and carpet. Well, something's got to be done.

Who knew they made doggy diapers?

My first time EVER putting on a diaper.

Pret-ty fine work.

I learned my lesson

I sent a mass text to my friends, wishing them a Happy Valentine's Day. More specifically,

"Have yourself a happy VD! Hehe, I know."
Just my way of wishing everyone a nice day on a holiday that may not be fun for all.

I got a few, "hee hee, that's funny!" and "Happy Valentine's Day to you, too!" and all that good stuff.
But then I got three or four messages back, asking, "What do you mean?" or "Haha, what?" or "What do you know?!"
So then I thought, "Oh, SNAP. Some of these people may have a little somethin'-somethin' that I don't know about that they now think I know about." I mean, joking about an STD is all fun and good until someone has one. Or maybe not.
So I learned my lesson.
Only joke around about venereal diseases if you are positive the person you are joking with does not have one.

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On a completely different topic, The Man came through and showed me some love at work, even though I wasn't there (I was at an offsite training.) These were on my desk when I came back the next day -

He sent me two dozen red roses and a box of truffles (because this girl loves herself some truffles.)
JonJon, thanks for keepin' the romance alive!

Here's your freakin' survey! :)

A=Available - For what - Lunch? A cocktail? Most definitely.

B=Best friend - Gil. Sister.

C=Cake or Pie- Cake. Ice cream cake.

D=Drink- Rum & Diet Cherry Coke

E=Essential item you use everyday- hair brush. Could you imagine the rat nest I would have without it?!

F=Favorite color - Blue. All shades.

G=Google your name (first), what comes up - Funky Mama. Unfortunately, that's not my site.

H=Hometown- Hayward.

I-Indulgences- Spa services. Going to Hawaii.

J=January or February - January, I suppose. But I really like December!

K=Kids- They're cute in short intervals of time.

L=Life- I try to remember to wake up every day thankful to have one, especially when times are tough.

M=Marriage date- Unknown

N=Number of siblings- 2. 1 older sis, 1 older bro.

O=Opinion (state one)- Mean people suck.

P=Phobias or Fears- Heights.

Q=Quote- "I am a cuddly barracuda."

R=Reason to smile- Good deeds.

S=Season- Winter. Only because of Christmas and my birthday.

T=Tag 3 or 4 peeps- C'mon Sister!! And have you done this, Tater? Cyn? Tel?

U=Unknown fact about you- In the 80s, my picture was in a YMCA brochure for their gymnastics. What's interesting is my mama told me just a couple of years ago that when it was published, she had overheard a woman who was really mad because her daughter's picture wasn't chosen, especially over a minority (let's just say it, "colored") girl. Sad, ain't it? But I like to think more like, "Take that, you old prejudice hag!"

V=Vegetable you don't like- Celery.

W=Worst habit - picking up the habits of the people I make fun of.

X=Xrays- Pardon? They're good in moderation, I suppose.

Y=Youth (a memory)- My dad building me a sandbox and then a monkey bar (not bars) so I can practice spinning and the dead man's drop.

Z=Zodiac sign- Sagittarius

The Man bought me smut

*That's the word he uses to refer to my celebrity juice.

Knowing how much I love "Pink is the New Blog," he surprised me with a subscription of People Magazine. (Now that I don't work at a gym, I never get to see the magazine anymore. It's been rough!)
What a great guy. It was just because. Isn't the nice?!

I give it a month and a half until he realizes how much it costs to give me a magazine that comes out weekly instead of monthly.

But what a sweet and loving gesture. I'm telling you, it's the little things.

A Poem for Hump Day

He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and smacked the shit out of him
Like his mother used to do.

A woman of action

OK, so I've been a little down lately. I was kind of doing something about it. Now I'm REALLY doing something about it. Sorry for being so vague but, as well all know, a online journal is quite different the a personal and private journal :) Just send me good mojo and I will eventually give details!

I also know that I'm a very blessed woman. I have loving family and friends. I have a lot to be thankful about so I know that while I'm sad about certain things, I should really appreciate what I have in my life. And I do! Truly.

Update: The pups supposed first day of class was a human only orientation! I mean, the orientation made perfect sense but I hope the girls get a full six weeks of instruction and that didn't count as one week! (Although I have a bad feeling it did. In which case, that sucks!!!!) So Piko and Pili's official first day of class is Saturday. Wish them luck! I think they are either going to be the runts of the class (Pili for sure!) or be in the top three. There was a chick with a six month lab weighing over 70 lbs. Oh well. If I survived being the smallest in my classes growing up, my pups sure as heck can deal with it, too.

Have a great week!